Many people say that I’m lucky because my sister is currently in a couponing phase; this means that I get to have all the cheap (often free): makeup, candy, and food I want. But, little do they know….
These aren’t really confessions… more of rants*
1. Couponing is hard, I have no interest in doing it.
I don’t have time to strategically plan out all the store prices and visit the store to match the prices; I don’t have the patience to go online and ask my friends to print out coupons for me. And I don’t have the guts to stand my ground and call corporate in front of incompetent cashier’s faces (my sister actually does this). Not to mention you have to memorize coupon policy’s and know about the upcoming deals.
2. I am forced to go on “Couponing Binges” starting from 7-12am.
I actually don’t think they are considered binges because they happen almost every night. My sister tells me, “Oh, I just have to run into Walgreens really quick to use a Gatorade coupon, it expires tomorrow!” So, I go with her… then while she distracts me with a free Twix and bottle of gatorade, I suddenly find myself lost in the aisles of Walmart. She then promises me that after she buys 5 bags of toilet paper (toilet paper is pretty expensive, who knew?) that we will be able to go home. “Here, since we are at Walmart… I’ll buy you a mcdouble.” As I finished my mcdouble in the car, I realized that we had parked but my house was no where to be seen. Instead, we were at the local Target.
3. I have enough toilet paper to give to every house on my block.
I have enough to bring one along with me every where I go and leave it in the bathroom for other people. Actually, I don’t think we will be buying toilet paper for another year (we have three bathrooms in our house).
4. My room has turned into my sisters Stock Pile holding space.
It is filled with feminine hygiene products, toilet paper, paper towels, Fruit Gushers, and Cereal. The garage is actually going to be the official stock pile to hold her stuff, we have a handyman working on it right now. The cabinets in our dining room are filled with shampoo’s and other things.
5. I have to wake up at 6 am to buy newspapers with her. I’ve also dug in the trash so many times its embarrassing.
Since it is still dark outside, my parents force me to go with my sister for “protection”. I hate it, i have work the next day! Also, my dad always seems to throw out the most important coupons… We’ve had to dig in the trashcan at night with a mini flashlight!
6. I’m scared to complain, she guilt trips me constantly.
Every time I complain and say that I’m too tired to keep her company or go shopping with her she says, “Diana. Do you like the shampoo you get to use for free? Or the cliff bars that you get to snack on? Or all the free makeup that I buy you? What about the shaving gel that I give to Brandon?” The list goes on and on and on.
7. I guess for now I’ll put up with it.
I have unlimited junk food to munch on, delicious dinners (I never knew you could buy actual food with coupons… I was wrong)and all sorts of makeup I can use. If I happen to wake up in the middle of the night with the munchies then I can just lean over and grab some fruit rollups or skittles… Oh well… I guess this coupon sidekick thing isn’t too bad…
Jennifer: You have to go couponing with me.
Me: Fine! But can I just wait in the car?
Jen: Okay, that’s fine.
When we get there*
Jen: What are you doing? Let’s go
Me: I thought you said I could wait in the car
Jen: Oh, I thought you meant you were going to wait in the car while I went and got changed. No, you have to come inside!