After being in a relationship with Brandon for a year and a half, I’ve finally reached the moment where I am slowly getting out of the honey moon phase. What is the honeymoon phase? In my own definition, its a phase where you and your significant other are so in love with each other that you guys don’t see each others flaws, want to be with them 24/7 and essentially think they are perfect. Although I still get excited to go on dates with Brandon, we are slowly having our own lives and are able to do things that don’t require being with each other. But, as the honey moon phase is slowly coming to an end.. I came to a realization- I lost all my friends.
Before Brandon, I’ve never really been in a serious relationship before; so I wasn’t sure how to balance my friends and my relationship. In the beginning, being with a boyfriend was like having your best friend with you at all times and I think I was so wrapped up in believing that he was all I needed.
Just recently, I got invited to a clubbing event and was very excited to go. My friend asked me to invite some of my girlfriends and I couldn’t even bring myself to invite any. The ones that had boyfriends were in the phase that I was in (I didn’t talk to them and they didn’t talk to anyone else because they were so wrapped up in their boyfriends), the others … I just drifted apart.
A friend of mine recently just got out of a 5 year relationship; she confessed to me that she had no idea how to make friends, her social skills were gone, and she basically lost all her friends.
Keep your friends close, they will be there for you when it matters. If you and your s/o get into an argument who will you turn to? What happens if you and your boyfriend break up? Your friends will be there to comfort you and help you meet someone new.
It’s good to have your own life. Let’s face it, when you’re in a relationship – you guys are always seen together. If a friend invites you to a party, most likely they’ll know you’re bringing your s/o. It’s good to have your own hobbies, and your own friends – that way, if you are angry, you can vent to your friend without having them feel guilty for being the “middle” person.
In the process of getting a boyfriend, I realized that my social skills are slowly disappearing. Right now, I’m trying very hard to have my own life and rekindle past friendships. Thankfully, I have my bestfriends who understand that I’m trying my hardest to balance everything at once.