Aren’t you guys lucky?
Not only do you guys get to see me pimply, but also my weight gain. Oh well, I don’t care. These pictures are all available on Facebook (the most horrible one is – thanks to my best friend). I never thought in a million years that I would make a post like this, because I never thought I would be comfortable in my own skin. It just didn’t seem possible to me. I made this post to show and tell others that it does get better.. over time.
I’ve struggled with acne around the end of highschool (a little in middle school, but honestly… kids made fun of anyone who had a pimple here and there). I remember looking up posts of Frmheadtotoea nd QiuQiu and marveling at how well their skin turned out. They all suffered from acne and cleared up their skin.I also remember waiting for my skin to get better and hoping that I would grow out of it. After a while, I gave up. I never thought my skin would be even “decent”. Their success stories gave me false hope and I realized that I would not grow out of it and I was never going to be like them. My dad took me to the dermatologist my freshman year of College and we tried pills, facials, even herbal medicine. After a while, we just sort of gave up and he told me to just eat healthier and drink lots of water.
Look at how red and blotchy my skin was! I always seemed to have CYST acne and my face is darker than the rest of my body (even to this day).
I remember going to Vietnam after this photo was taken and while eating breakfast at home our neighbor asked me, “Don’t they have medicine to help with your face?” I was insulted but obviously couldn’t say anything. I tried the herbal medicine in Vietnam but it didn’t help either. It was really hard for me to find photos of myself because I was always either photoshopping my photos or not taking pictures.
I went to Hawaii in 2010 and had a horrible incident with a cashier. I wore makeup everywhere (maybe I should have let my skin breathe a little); and wore makeup while trying on these tourist shirts. I actually got makeup on the neckline and of course, she made me buy it -_-“
My acne got a lot better right when I met Brandon (thank god). But I was still so insecure. I remember only meeting him at Dark Dimmed places, aka guppys, Cha20, all the other places. We only met at night, then one day he came over in the morning, I was actually so nervous! I was afraid he wouldn’t think I was pretty anymore and never made eye contact with him. Luckily, he still liked me. When I would sleep over, I would wake up early to reapply my makeup. Now that I think about all those things that I did… I can’t help but laugh.
A picture with me probably late 2012.
I actually found courage to not wear makeup to this fundraiser I went to with my friend. My skin is blotchy and red, but it was taken with a normal camera (not iphone) so I do think it looks worse than what it should look like. But, you can tell that my skin is a bit better thanks to my forehead clearing up and my jaw line.
This was taken in 2013, although my face was already “OK” (meaning not as bad as before), it was still red and blotchy. This photo looks worse than its supposed to because I was already drinking alcohol and my face grew red (asian glow). But, I was still pretty happy with my skin. Although I was happy with my skin, I still rarely looked in the mirror. I actually applied makeup with the very small small mirror that came in eyeshadow palettes so I wouldn’t have to look at the rest of my skin.
Taken at Valentines Day with very little makeup. (Though the front camera of my iphone has horrible quality)
After dating Brandon for over a year, I began to stop wearing makeup. I usually went on our date sans makeup and felt more confident with him. At events though, I wore makeup because I still wasn’t that comfortable without it. I still didn’t look at mirrors at this point.
Taken Dec 2013.
I think I partly grew out of my acne and also learned how to use the right skin products for me. I moisturized, didn’t wear makeup (thanks to Brandon I didn’t need to) and used Mandelic Acid Peel, and the toner! Also, my trusty Clarisonic. Seriously, can I just become the spokeswoman for Makeupartistchoice?!
Of Course, I still deal with lots of issues.
My skin isn’t perfect (and it NEVER will be) sorry to say. I will always have to deal with redness, and my face is still darker than the rest of my body (maybe due to overuse of BP and harsh chemicals), I’ll have to deal with scars (hyperpigmentation and pockmarks). But overall, I am happy with my skin right now. I can actually look in the mirror now! I do break out during that time of the month (i have hormonal acne) but oh well. I don’t take my skin for granted, like some people do. Also, I know that I can break out again at any moment. My friend had acne, then got rid of it, but then this year started breaking out horribly (I have no idea why). I know that there may be a time where my products will stop working on me, but I’m just trying to enjoy it while I can ^_^.